March 2012

Please don't eat on the bus


OK, people. Why can’t you eat your meals elsewhere and not on the bus? It’s gross. No not the natural act of eating in general. Well that depends on an individual's eating skills so as not to consume food like a slob. But even slobs have the common decency to eat on a non-moving vehicle. And before the bigger ones in the audience chime in – no I don’t mean you. When I say slob, I mean someone who despite being taught how to eat neatly from their parents, how to use napkins, to eat with their mouth closed and other things, proceed to chew like a farmland cow, dribbling food all down their face and around themselves.

This grossness is amplified x1000 on a cramped, moving vehicle. You know why? Because on said vehicle, you sit closer to the sights, the smells, the sounds, you experience it all and you can’t move away to avoid it. Also, said eaters without fail are sloppy too, dripping it everywhere including the floor.

There is no shortage of bus themed games

Despite the few games that I have seen out there on the subject of busses, and more on the fact that if said game doesn’t have a GTA or Saint’s Row in front of some numbers, I have pointed out over and over that the game will more than likely suck. This warning was never heard. I found a literal jackpot of bus themed games. Some with the goal of racing against other vehicles. Some wanting you to cause mayhem.

But the majority wanted to simulate the overwhelming fun that is bus driving.

Dear Hospital Bus Loop Rider

I know, I know. It’s grossly unfair to poke at you in your hunched over homely state. Of course I cannot mock what you cannot help. Your smell of elderliness or your slow timed movements. I mean, someday that’ll be me – dying young notwithstanding. Your need to sit in that same spot by the door despite others being there before you – I understand, no I get it. The fact that you are one of the elderly that insist on driving when clearly it is more a danger to yourself and the others driving around you.

But. I see you every day with that bag.

Dear Bus driver for my stop at 9:45am

I so enjoy running out to meet you for my Tuesday morning commute – or lets hop random buses and arrive at a place 30 minutes away in 2 hours. But I accept this as me being carless am happy to get to my destination on time at all.

I recall looking so attentively at the bus route website, double and triple checking the route and times. I even made sure to account for detours. I wake up two hours early; the stop is only a 10 minute brisk walk from my place. I know of the ‘arrive 10 minutes early rule’ and make sure I am walking there 20 minutes early.

Yet I walk there 20 minutes early going by my watch – my stop not just on the main street but across requiring me to hit a cross walk light. I cross – only to see you speeding right on by. Now. You’ve seen me before. I ride the bus on this day, every Tuesday, without fail. Not for just a month of two but the full month. You’ve seen me; you even know what location I will drop off at.

Bus Stories

Want to trade war stories amongst other bus drivers? Then look no further than here.  This page is chock full of fun and unusual stories from bus drivers about their passengers. Stories of passengers too sleepy to stand (and remember their stops). A driver was asked to take his tour group to the Bunny Ranch (a famous brothel) and making at the end of the day a $3000 tip. Other stories talked of picky passengers that demanded drop offs down to the minute and change down to the cent. Bus maintenance workers and the jokes drivers pulled on them.